The Psychology Behind FOMO

By Megan Ybarra | Photos by Olivia Mauldin |

Feeling left out? So does everyone else. In the era of professionally-photographed parties and ever-increasing screen time, the concept of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) feels universally applicable to the modern human experience. Despite this issue’s contemporary prevalence – and widespread blaming of the smartphone – FOMO isn’t unique to the social-media generation. It’s one of the reasons we, as humans, exist today.

The acronym FOMO was first credited to Patrick McGinnis, a writer who used the term in 2004 for The Harbus, the magazine of Harvard Business School. His application of the term was first used in an article regarding overscheduling oneself and the accompanying stressors. This early instance of “FOMO” demonstrates that this feeling isn't exclusively linked to the consequences of social media: this complex construct has spanned across generations, and can even be linked to humankind's evolution.

Humans are often described as an "ultra-social" species, with behaviors leaning towards cooperation and participation – the survival of humankind relies on social connection. The belongings hypothesis of human evolution supports this: we have a desire, as humans, to connect with peers, partners, and family. This can be solidified with the presentation of human anxiety—think of the feeling of dread that arises when you feel left out, or feel that a social bond is threatened. This isn’t all to say that cavemen felt FOMO the same way we do, but, those dreadful feelings you experience while scrolling through Instagram on a Friday night might actually be psychological adaptations, designed to help us navigate group dynamics and social inclusion. 

Now, how does this apply to modern anxieties? Social media provides researchers with analytics to study mass behaviors, highlighting the concept of social capital: it fosters the cultivation of reputation and identity, with likes, followers, and other popularity metrics serving as markers of social capital. These provide quick dopamine releases and feelings of social connection attached to digital interactions. Research has shown that those suffering most from FOMO have less confidence in their social connections. FOMO is not (yet) a diagnosable condition, but that isn’t to undermine the effect that such a feeling may have on one’s well-being. 

Not sure whether or not you’re experiencing FOMO? Here are some symptoms:

• Always agreeing to things, almost on impulse, leading to overscheduling.

• Suffering from “Shiny Object Syndrome”, where you pick up and drop trends rapid-speed.

• Overwhelming concern over outside opinions of oneself.

• Feeling depressed, sad, anxious, etc.

• Physical exhaustion, and feelings of tiredness increase.

• Heightened social media activity.

  
  

While there’s an ever-growing amount of theses and studies interlinking FOMO and social media, online is not the only plane where you can experience such feelings. Whether it’s not being picked from a tryout or audition, missing out on a sale or one-chance deal on an item you want, or simply not understanding an inside joke said in front of you, that pit-in-your-stomach feeling is still applicable to FOMO. 

Social and evolutionary bases covered, FOMO can also be examined from a neurological perspective. Similar to anxiety and surrounding emotions, your brain goes into “fight or flight” mode (except the “fight” is taking time to finish homework, and “flight” is relenting and attending a Survivor watch party), and your amygdala is the center of these feelings. Your brain will associate your current feelings of anxiety and FOMO to past stimuli or similar situations and can compound these emotions. One of the consequences of long-enduring FOMO is the growth of the amygdala. As a response to this long-term anxiety, your cognitive function is disrupted, as your brain has re-wired to accommodate your anxiety, viewing decision-making through a high-stakes lens. Think of this as a positive feedback loop, constantly validating your self-loathing for not going out to a party.

A further development in the observation of FOMO is the instance of MOMO (Mystery of Missing Out), which is the anxiety you have when you just have a feeling that you weren’t invited to something, without any proof. A third variation of these anxiety-based feelings is FOBO (Fear of Better Options), which can often be paired with FOMO as a sort of regret spiral. FOBO can lead to a behavior known as “analysis paralysis”, where decision-making reaches a point of extreme difficulty, overwhelming oneself.

From this multifaceted perspective, we can see more than the “social media is bad” narrative that is constantly presented as a response to the mental health crises of younger generations. It’s not our fault that social media platforms and advertisers capitalize on insecurity.  With constantly updating feeds, ads featuring countdown timers, and algorithms tailored to your interests, social media fuels impulsive behavior—after all, better to regret a quick decision than risk missing out, right? But while these social networking pressures can be a trigger for FOMO, it’s not impossible to maintain a healthy perspective: you will miss out on things, and that’s normal. A recent study utilized by cognitive behavioral therapists emphasizes this, noting a link between social media and FOMO, but adding that correlation doesn’t equal causation. If cavemen were feeling FOMO, it’s not just your phone–you can take care of yourself and ensure the survival of humankind at the same time, just like your fossilized ancestors did.